Hi, my name is Caraline, I’m twenty four years old and my natural born Texan southern twang gives me an extra bit of spice and character. I’m not one for talking about my feelings, but I guess that’s why I started this blog to help me heal and to help others feel like they’re less alone too. I struggle with mental health and I have since I was about sixteen, well that’s when I was diagnosed, I’m pretty sure it started way before then. Life wasn’t picture perfect growing up, I had parents who fought, a father who wasn’t present, he was there physically, but when it came to actually taking care of us, that’s where he fell short instead video games and after work tv were what he chose to pay attention to. My mom raised us, by us I mean my siblings and I. I’m the baby of the family I have a sister and a brother and during the fighting before the marriage of theirs that ended in divorce, e had one another. I found comfort in movies and tv shows and with anxiety/ OCD I clung to the shows that gave me happiness on repeat, Friends, The Big Bang Theory, arena, Gilmore girls, etc. In 2016 I lost my grandmother and that sent me into a mental health crisis where I had nightmares, body image issues and severe depression and anxiety that sometimes kept me home from school and just stopped caring about showing up. I developed an eating disorder and that would consume my life for the next seven years, but hey that brought my dad to my side finally when I was in the hospital on my death bed so there’s the upside, I guess. Later came the migraines, and the dizzy spells and soon got worse so fast forward to today. I can’t work, I can’t stand up without fainting, I can’t go out or drive because of chronic fatigue, blood pressure up and down, bladder issues and good lord the list goes on! It’s a form of autonomic dysfunction and or/dysautonomia and vasovagal syncope. So my life has been hell, I have faith in Jesus and that’s what’s saving me and keeping me grounded. I know He will come through it’s just the matter of when, I mean he saved me from a man that was abusive and I almost married so I know he can save me through this. As that song goes by Elevation Worship “There’s never been a day, never been a minute, never been a moment that you weren’t in it” He is ALWAYS on time. So as I wait for the appointment or get in the autonomic clinic, struggling to have money stay in my bank account and keep my energy levels up long enough so I can have fun with my friends or friend I should say. I just keep saying “one more month” but hey, this hot mess that find humor in the bad is me. And welcome to the shit show
-Caraline